and you said cock pushups were impossible
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
