I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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