we made out on top of his cat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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