She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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