woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
