i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What drink are we having for lunch?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
