it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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