this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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