This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
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I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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