highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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