in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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