I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
