I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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