ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
