If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize