How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
