this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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