and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
