I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
