Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize