ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize