the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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