And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
