I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
