I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dignity is for republicans.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
