there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I see more hoeing in ur future
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