I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
