ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dick very happy bro
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
