Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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