he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
