At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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