it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
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I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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