can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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