the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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