I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
