Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
