i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
