Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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