She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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