I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
