Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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