i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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