Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize