so explain again why im purple
no
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
