I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
