hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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