No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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