oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize