Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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