So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
