How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize