i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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