Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
