dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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