New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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