You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
