When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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